


Whispers In The Night

by BellaGattino



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:08:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaGattino/pseuds/BellaGattino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen returns to Dallas after promising to never step foot in his home town again. His life is forever altered by the man he once loved and he's left barely hanging on to his sanity as the world he knew shatters around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 

To say that Jensen was nervous about going to his old home town was an understatement. Hell it was the understatement of the century. It had been well over ten years since he had stepped foot in Texas, let alone Dallas and if he was being perfectly honest with himself, he wouldn't be going right now if it hadn't been for Chris. He had sworn after everything that happened, after all the pain, he'd never go back. But as usual, true to Chris' pleading tone and his best friend status, he hadn't been able to tell Chris no when he had called with an informal invite ('cause, as Chris as said, 'I'm not mailing my best friend an invite when I'd rather just call.'). Jensen figured that Chris knew if he mailed the invite that Jensen would deny getting it. Which as much as Jensen hated to admit, was probably true. 

So here he was on Delta flight 2758 (with a two hour lay over in Vegas) heading back to Texas for Chris and Chad's wedding/commitment ceremony. Jensen couldn't seem to wrap his mind around that idea. The Chris and Chad thing was fine, they had been together for so long that the thought of them _not_ being together was the oddity. But Chris, CHRIS – the man who had fucked half the campus of UCLA – was getting married. Jensen shook his head as the pilot came on and informed them they were on time and that it was time to prepare for landing. 

He stood when the plane landed and stretched his now aching legs. He waited as people filed from the plane while he waited for the feeling to come back into his feet and toes. He hated flying, hated everything about it but it was over now. At least for a little while. He exited the plane and headed toward the luggage carousel. Once he had his luggage he headed toward the main doors, knowing that Chris had said he would waiting for him there. He pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes as he neared the door, not ready to deal with the smog free sunlight. 

He wondered for a moment as he stepped out onto sidewalk if he would have trouble finding Chris as the crown was thick and he could barely see the street in front of him. His fears were put to rest as he heard an ear shattering howl and he turned to see the crowd parting for the world wind that could only be Christian Kane. 

“Didn't think you'd ever get here!” Chris called as he neared him. 

Jensen shook his head and hugged Chris and patted him on the back in the standard manly greeting. “Patient as ever I see.” 

“Yeah, you know me.” He grabbed one of Jensen's bag and headed toward a large black Escalade. 

“The – what the hell happened to the GMC?” Chris had had the same truck since they were seventeen and it was a shock to see him in anything so – not covered in rust? He wanted to say – shiny.

“The little lady,” Chris said with a roll of his eyes, “Said that I couldn't pick you up in the rust bucket.” His last words were growled and for a moment Jensen could hear the extra chords in Chris' throat at work. Being around weres again was going to take some getting used to. Chris loaded the luggage in the back and then joined Jensen in the front seat. “You hungry?” 

Jensen shrugged, “Not really.” 

“Yeah, well I am.” Chris said with a snort. Chris could eat twenty three hours out of the day, and he'd still be hungry. 

“Yeah not really surprised.” Jensen commented as they pulled out into traffic. 

The ride through town was quiet. Jensen was nervous, he was tired and to be perfectly honest he was hurting. He thought after so long that seeing his old haunting grounds wouldn't make his chest ache but he was wrong. So very _very_ wrong. 

When they pulled up outside Chris' modest house, a creme with burgundy shutters ranch his friend turned to Jensen. 

“Are you okay?” Jensen nodded, not really willing to speak at the moment. “Cause you've said like ten words the whole time you've been here.” Jensen sighed and looked down at his lap. He spun his father's ring that he had worn since... well since _then_ and shook his head. “I didn't think it would still hurt like this.” 

Chris sighed and nodded, “Yeah. I'm sorry.” 

The tone of Chris' voice had Jensen looking at his friend and instantly he felt guilty. “I'm sorry.” He whispered. “I want to be here for this. This is huge.” Chris smiled slightly and nodded. “I mean this is the whore of UCLA's wedding.” 

Chris snorted and punched Jensen in the shoulder. “God, I was just sowing my wild oats.” 

“HA!” Jensen said with a shake of his head, “Werewolf or not, there is a difference between sowing and fucking broadcast seeding.” 

“Oh, you are such an ass.” 

Jensen smiled, and shook his head, “It's been said?” 

“Fuck you.” Chris slid from the truck and Jensen followed grabbing one of his bags while Chris grabbed the other. “Chad'll be here in a few hours. He had a class at the college.” 

“How is that going?” Chad had been teaching history at the local junior college for little over a year, Chris had said when he called about the wedding. 

“It's good.” Chris said with a smile over his shoulder as he unlocked the door. “He bitches constantly about all the papers, but he loves it.” 

“That's good.” Jensen followed Chris into his house, his eyes scanning everything as they entered the living room.

“This is it. Casa Kane.” Chris paused just inside the room, his arms spread wide. The room was mostly dark, well-kept wood. The ceiling had wide wooden beams, and warm wood on the floors. The couch, pushed against a wide full wall window was plush black leather as was the recliner and chair on each side.

“Damn, I like it.” And he did. It screamed Chris to him. It was no doubt the room that had sold Chris on the house. 

“Yeah,” Chris' voice was full of pride. “I like it.” 

“It's you.” 

“Yeah -” Chris started but stopped as someone called his name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay I know that Chris loves to cook in the real world... I know that much about Christian Kane but I needed something here so I totally fucked with Chris in this and he doesn't cook... so forgive me. Okay? OKAY!)

“Chris? That you?” Jensen watched as Chad sauntered from one of the rooms down the hallway to their right.   
“Hey baby.” Chris said softly turning to face Chad. “I thought you'd be at school for a while still.”   
Chad shrugged, his eyes never leaving Chris' face. Jensen lowered his eyes, pain blossoming in his chest as he saw the obvious love on Chad's face. “I missed you.”   
Chris chuckled darkly, “Yeah, me too.” He tilted his head back and slid his hand up Chad's back to his hair and pulled him down to his mouth. Chad's hand wrapped around Chris' back and his fingers tightened in his shirt a soft purr sounding clearly. Chris pulled back and looked at Chad, “I love it when you do that.”   
Chad grinned, “I know.” Chad looked up at Jensen then and his smile faltered a little. “Hey Jen.”   
“Hey.” Jensen said with a smile. He hugged Chad tightly when the blonde man neared him.   
“Was your flight okay?”   
“Yeah, it was good. Layover in Vegas was good, I was starving by then.”   
“Well that's always good. The Vegas airport had the best restaurants.”   
Jensen nodded, “Yeah.” He hadn't ever been terribly close to Chad but he felt a tension between them that made his teeth ache and he hated it. “Congratulations.”   
“Thanks man.” He looked over at Chris, the smile on his face soft and loving. “Thank you for coming. I know it's – hard. It means a lot to us for you to be here.”   
Jensen lowered his head, he didn't want Chad to see just how much it was hurting him. Not after what he had said to Chris in the truck. “I'm happy to be here.” He replied softly.   
Chad nodded, looked at Chris for a moment. “Why don't you go and get settled, and I'll start dinner.”   
“Sounds good babe.” Chris said, seeming to want to break the moment up also. “Steaks?”   
“Yeah. I'll fix you steaks. Twice baked potatoes?” Jensen watched Chris' eyes light up. Him and food.   
“The ones with cheddar and bacon?” When Chad smiled and nodded, Chris' smile widened, “God yes.” Chris turned to Jensen with a twinkle in his eyes, “I'm marrying him for the food.”   
Chad chuckled as he headed toward the kitchen shaking his head, “I'll remember that on the honeymoon.” He looked at Chris over his shoulder and smacked his own ass.   
“Oh shit.” Chris growled, “Sorry baby!”   
“Whatever!” Chad called back.   
“I'm gonna be the only new husband with blue balls.”   
Jensen grinned and nodded, “If you have any balls left.”   
“OH! He isn't that cruel... but he is a cat. So who the hell knows.” Chris turned and headed toward the hallway. “You're room is here.” He pushed open a bedroom door but stood outside the room. “There is the bathroom.” He pointed across the hall, “And that's my room down there.” He pointed to a room at the end of the hall. He turned and pointed to a beside the bathroom, “That's the office. If you need the computer it's there.” Jensen nodded and followed Chris into his room as his friend entered. The room was pale blue, bed made in matching quilts and Jensen nodded.  
“Thanks man.”   
“Just proud to have you here.” He propped the suitcase against the bed and looked up at his friend. “Do you want me to help you unpack or...?”   
Jensen shook his head. He needed a little down time. “I think I've got it.”   
“If you're sure.” Jensen nodded and Chris smiled then hugged him. “Okay sounds good. Just come out when you're ready. I'll call when Chad's got dinner.”   
Jensen nodded and watched his friend leave the room before turning and start to unpack his suitcases.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

  
He didn't mean to eavesdrop, he really didn't but as he stepped into the living room after finally getting unpacked he couldn't help but hear Chris' sharp tone in the near silent house.  
“What?” Chris hissed.  
“Well! I can't help it! It's my fault!” Chad's tone was soft, and Jensen could easily pick up the pain hidden beneath the words. He found himself stepping closer to the kitchen, his steps soft. He stopped five or so feet from the door knowing that with both Chris and Chad would smell him well before he got close enough to be heard.  
“Baby,” Chris' tone was soft, a hint of soft exasperation, “It's not your fault.”  
“Don't placate me!” Chad snapped and Jensen couldn't help but smile at that. “I introduced him to Mark!” Jensen barely bit back the gasp as he realized they were talking about him.  
“And?” Chris' tone was bland. “Did you put a gun to Jensen's head and make him date him? Say yes when Mark asked him?” Jensen heard an almost purring sound and he figured it was Chad's answer as Chris continued, “Okay, you can not help that Mark turned out to be an asshole and broke Jensen's heart. Do I want to fucking kill him? Fuck yeah I do. I want to play with his fucking innards, hell I'd use 'em as garland on the fucking Christmas tree if I could get away with it.” Chris made his own growling-purr sound then continued, “But baby, it's not your fault.”  
Chad sniffled, and Jensen's brows drew together. In the years that Jensen had known Chad he had never seen him sad, let alone cry and it pulled at something deep in Jensen's chest. “But because I introduced them you nearly lost your best friend.”  
Chris made the same growling-purr sound and when he spoke his voice was muffled and Jensen had a mental image of Chris holding Chad to his chest. “I'll always have Jensen, baby. We've been friends since we were old enough to throw our shit. Trust me, I ain't loosing him.”  
“But-”  
“No! No buts. He was happy. You made him happy by introducing him, don't take that away from him.”  
“I still can't believe Mark did that.”  
“Baby, it's been nearly ten years, you've got to get over this.” Jensen heard the sound of soft kisses accompanied by purring moans and Jensen knew he had to leave the room before heard more than he wanted to. He returned to his room, settling on the edge of the bed. He blinked against the memories, fighting not wanting to see them not wanting to relive the pain. In one week almost everything he loved, his entire life, had been ripped from his grasp. He fought against the memories, finally winning as his mind went cottony and empty. Fortunately sleep pulled him under quickly, clearing his mind completely.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

  
When Jensen woke it was dark, his room was blanketed with an inky darkness that put him on edge for a moment until he remembered where he was. He pushed up onto his side and flicked on the lamp on the bedside table. He rubbed his eyes, blinking his contacts back into place and groaned as they scratched against his eyes. He hated sleeping in his contacts. He squinted as he crossed the room to the dresser, taking his contacts out and washing his eyes with the cleansing solution. He found his glasses and slid them on before turning back to his room. When he did he saw a note stuck to the inside of the door. He moved to it and pulled it from the wood. _'Jen,'_ it read, _'didn't want to wake you. Dinner is in the oven, should be still warm for a while. Fix whatever you need. Mi casa es su casa. -Chris.'_ Jensen smiled and made his way into the kitchen. He couldn't deny they he was hungry and steak sounded decidedly delicious at the moment. He found his plate, wrapped in foil, in the oven still warm just as Chris had predicted and he wondered how many late nights he had come home to find dinner just like this. He knew he worked with at risk children who were sent to the juvenile center through the courts system and he could just imagine how many late nights he had racked up over the years.  
He uncovered the plate and pulled open the fridge grabbing himself a beer. He settled at the table and began eating. He realized very quickly that if Chris was in fact marrying Chad for his cooking, he was a smart man. Chad could cook like crazy, the steak was perfect and Jensen could only imagine how good it had been when it was still sizzling from the pan. The potatoes were fantastic and Jensen cleaned his plate in record time. Once he finished eating he cleaned his plate, placing it and his fork and knife in the drainer beside the sink then headed back to his room, shocked that he actually felt tired. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple of days were somewhat of a blur for Jensen. Chris rarely left his side, something that Chris had brushed off as time off that he had coming. Jensen wasn't about to complain, his mind tended to wander to things that were better left in the back, dark recesses of his thoughts when he was alone. So needless to say when Chris blew into his room about an hour after Chad left for his late night class Jensen was a little shocked. 

"Man, there's a riot at work. Some idiot put two different gangs members in the same cell. I've got to go to work. Will you be okay here?" 

"Of course!" Jensen said standing from the couch. "I'll be fine." 

"God! I'm so sorry man. I really had planned to stay." Chris said in a rush heading toward the door. 

"It's fine Chris. I promise. I'll just chill and watch some TV." 

"Yeah, oh! Netflix, just turn on the xbox, watch anything." Jensen nodded as he held the door open for Chris, "I will, just be careful." 

"Always am. Lock up okay?" He paused and waited for Jensen to nod then nodded himself. "If someone comes to the door, don't go. Just let em pound." 

"Are - what," He shook his head. "You are being paranoid, man." 

"Yeah maybe. Just do it." The tone in Chris' voice forced Jensen to nod. 

"Yeah, okay." Chris smiled and nodded again and Jensen watched as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. 

"Lock up." 

"God Chris. Okay." Jensen shook his head with a laugh and pushed the door together on his friend making sure to turn the bolt sharply so Chris could hear the lock. 

"Okay! See you soon!" Chris shouted from outside the door and Jensen chuckled as he headed toward the kitchen. Jensen knew it was getting close to the full moon so he figured that was why Chris was being so jumpy. 

Jensen settled down in the couch, a beer in one hand the remote in another. He was staring at the TV not really playing attention to it as he thought about just how well him and Chris had merged back together after so many years apart. Sure Chris had his moments of weirdness, just like earlier but still he was the same Chris he had always known. _I guess there was something to be said about childhood friendships._ He thought to himself just as a resounding knock sounded on the front door. 

"What the-" He stopped as it sounded again, seeming to grow in volume and intensity Jensen wondered if someone in the neighborhood might be in trouble and needing Chris. He pushed up from the couch and headed toward the foyer. He had no intention of opening the door, but he wanted to see who was knocking on it so loudly. 

As he stepped onto the wooden floor there was the unmistakeable sound of glass shattering in the kitchen. 

"What that hell?!" He turned on his heel the front door forgotten as he headed toward the kitchen. As he rounded the turn into the room he heard the front door crash open. The sound stopped him in his tracks and he watched as someone slithered, there really wasn't any other term for it, off the counter and started walking toward him. 

He backed away the person stalking toward him, his heart racing. As they picked up speed Jensen's mind seemed to kick into gear and he knew that he had to get his phone - he had to get out - he had to do something! As he raced back into the living room he screamed when a huge arm wrapped around his waist, snatching him from the floor as if his six foot one frame weighed nothing and he realized with a sickening sense of dread that whoever was in his best friends house wasn't human. The thought forced him to fight back with all he had, hating the feeling of being helpless as his elbows seemed to do nothing at all to his assailant. 

His entire body went stiff as the person holding him tightened his hold on his, the pain of his ribs being crushed forcing him to stop. 

"Don't break him, Otis." Jensen's head snapped toward the man who had entered through the kitchen. _He knew that voice_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   


“Mark?” screeched Jensen, his struggles beginning once more, only to be forced into immobility by the searing pain in his chest from Otis' arms around his chest. Jensen's heart raced. He was fixated on the man in front of him.  
“Otis!” Mark's voice was cold, laced with venom, and it made Jensen shudder. Jensen lowered his gaze. “Jensen.” His ex-fiance's attention turned back to him, and for a long, long moment he wished it hadn't.  
“What do you want?” Jensen spat, his anger bubbling to the surface and making him brave – or stupid - as he met Mark's gaze.  
“Well, that's not really important right now,” Mark said, his eyes squinting as if he was considering his next move. “It's what I've got right now that's important.”  
It took Jensen a second to realize that Mark was talking about him. “Fuck you.” Jensen jerked away as Mark stepped closer to him. Mark slowly raised his hand for an apparent caress. Instead, Mark delivered a sharp slap, making Jensen gasp as pain exploded along his jaw. “That's no way to talk to me.”  
“Fuck you!” Jensen spat back, his anger building once more.  
Mark leered at him and winked. “Oh, I will. I know you've been missing me.”  
Jensen gasped, his face changing from confusion to horror as Mark's words hit him. “Let me go!” He thrashed against the bonds holding him, missing the nod Mark gave the giant constraining him. Jensen screamed as the giant's arms tightened around his chest, not stopping until two wet cracks were heard as pain ripped through his chest. He tried to inhale, but couldn't - the pain too severe. He knew he had broken ribs. He panted, his body going lax, unable to fight the pain long enough to struggle. “Mark, please.” He begged for leniency but – as he should have known - Mark knew no such thing.  
“Now, that's much better.” Jensen stared at the man that he had once loved, shocked by the sickness now swimming in those blue eyes. “Now that I have your undivided attention, I think it's time to discuss exactly why I'm here and what fun activities I have planned for us.”  
“Please, Mark.” Jensen's voice was soft, his body throbbing with pain. His body hung stiffly, feet not touching the floor. The monster's arm was wound around his ribs, and with each breath Jensen felt bone grinding against bone.  
“Don't worry darling. It's coming,” Mark purred. Jensen shook his head, his stomach turning at the thought of Mark touching him, and he began to fight once more. “Otis.”  
“NO!” Jensen cried and let his body go lax.  
“Good boy.” Mark stepped close to him and looked into his eyes. “I always did like it when you cried.” He nodded and Jensen whimpered as Otis tightened his arms, the pain growing until he felt bile crawling up the back of his throat. “Ahh, there it is.” He ran his fingers under Jensen's eyes, swiping a tear with one fingertip and bringing it to his lips. Mark moaned with pleasure as he sucked the moisture from his finger. “I think I shall let Otis have you while I lick your tears.” Jensen gasped and jerked away from Mark, thrashing violently. He groaned loudly, hands pushing at the muscular tree trunks that were surrounding his chest.  
“MARK! Please!” He knew the plea was useless, but he couldn't stop it from falling from his lips.  
“Otis.”  
Jensen sobbed as the man followed Mark's one word command and relaxed his hold.  
Jensen panted, needing so much more air than he was able to get. “Just let me go. I'll do anything.”  
“Oh, I know you will, honey. But I'm not letting you go.” Mark turned and walked away from Jensen, his hands behind his back, looking insanely calm. “See, I need leverage. It's really that simple. I need to prove my point and then I'll have what I want.” Jensen shook his head, nothing Mark said was making any sense.  
“What point?' He panted.  
“Oh, now if I told you that what good would it do?”  
“But ...” Jensen cringed as Mark circled back toward him.  
“If I told you,” he said with a leering smirk, “I'd have to kill you.”  
Jensen's heart dropped and Mark shook his head.  
“But see, I don't want to do that.” Mark shook his head again, his eyes narrowing and lighting from within. It was then Jensen realized that his ex-fiance was no longer human. “I want to break you.”  
Jensen wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he couldn't stop himself. “B-break me?”  
“Oh yes, I'm going to snap you like a twig.” Mark licked his lips and ran his hands down Jensen's chest.  
“No, Mark. Mark!” he yelled, trying to catch the man's attention. “Please, Mark!”  
“Don't worry darling,” Mark whispered, never lifting his head. “This won't hurt me at all.”  
Jensen kicked his legs as he felt Mark's fingers at the button of his jeans. “NO!” He screamed around the pain as Otis tightened his hold. Three more wet cracks sounded in his chest, but he kept fighting, kicking his legs out wildly. He felt a brief surge of victory as he made a direct hit to Mark's crotch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment was brief as Mark roared Otis' name and a second later the tree-trunk arm that had been at Jensen's chest was around his neck. Jensen felt the effects of the hold instantly - his vision blurred and his face ached from trapped blood. He struggled, digging his blunt nails into Otis' arm. His last thought before his world went dark was that at least he wouldn't feel it. His throat burned with the lack of oxygen, but as the darkness of oblivion grew greater in his eyes, he lost the strength to fight and his hands fell to his sides.   
When Jensen came to, he realized he was naked from the waist down, arms tied behind his back. His body was hurting more than he thought a human being could handle. Otis was still holding Jensen, pressing his back against the huge man's chest. Otis' massive arms were hooked under each of Jensen's knees, holding his legs open and forcing Jensen's thighs to rest against his own chest like some kind of sick porn model. Jensen couldn't breathe - his head was swimming from the lack of oxygen and the pain.   
“Mark, please,” he whispered. He struggled to move, to lash out, but Otis only tightened his hold slightly and Jensen felt his body going limp from the overwhelming pain. He prayed for a moment for the blackness to swallow him once more, but he wasn't as lucky as before.  
“Welcome back, baby!” Mark said nearing him. Jensen felt bile rise in his throat as he saw that Mark was stroking his dick. “We've had a change of plans. See I was going to fuck you dry, but Otis here - he really is a genius - had a better idea.”   
Something in Mark's words made Jensen's stomach flip and he shook his head, whimpers falling from his lips as Mark held up a long, sharp blade. “Mark, no! STOP!” Jensen fought against his bonds, pain flashing red and white behind his eyes, although he knew that any movement he made would only make Otis hurt him more.   
Mark moved closer to him and, before Jensen could react to Mark's proximity, his ex-lover reached out and swiped the blade down the inside of his right thigh. Jensen screamed at the searing, raw pain and didn't fight the tears that fell from his eyes. He felt the blood trickling down his leg, running toward his ass. He struggled against the punishing hold and groaned loudly as Otis tightened his grip on his thighs, pressing them into the broken ribs of Jensen's chest.   
Jensen sobbed pitifully, his stomach rolling with bile as he felt Mark use his fingers to push Jensen's blood into his own ass as lubricant.   
“Oh Otis, you were right!” Mark exclaimed. “But I think we need more.”   
“NO!” Jensen's exclamation died on a scream as Mark sliced into his other thigh. Jensen could tell the cut was deeper, the blood flowing so much quicker, the pain blinding. “Mark, please! PLEASE STOP!”   
“Oh, so much better.”Jensen sobbed as Mark ignored him and dropped the knife, where it clattered on the floor. He shook his head, crying as he felt Mark run his cock over the wounds in his legs.  
“Hold him up for me.”   
Jensen groaned. He knew struggling against Otis' hold was useless, but he couldn't stop, even as Otis pulled his legs back even further, pushing his ass closer to Mark. “No.” He whimpered, his voice soft from lack of oxygen and an abundance of pain.  
“There it is,” Mark whispered as he ran his finger over Jensen's pucker.   
“Please, Mark,” Jensen sobbed, opening his eyes to look at the man that he had once loved. “Please stop.”   
“I'm here, baby.”  
Jensen sobbed and shook his head. His sobs died in his throat, the sound catching, as Mark slammed into his body in one hard thrust. He screamed, stopping only to inhale, before screaming again as Mark started pounding into his body.  
“Shut up!” Mark growled and Jensen fought against Mark's hand as it wrapped around his throat. He gasped and sputtered, trying like hell to inhale around the pain and the suffocation. Jensen knew he was fighting a losing battle; if Mark didn't let him go, he wasn't going to survive. For a second, he thought that might be better.   
As Jensen felt the blackness finally coming for him, he ignored the sounds of Mark pleasuring himself with Jensen's tortured body. Instead, he welcomed the oblivion with open arms.  
Jensen's last memory of Mark was his whispered praise, “Always such a beautiful bitch.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen clearly remembered waking up three separate times, and each time he got more and more upset when he realized that he hadn’t died. Had he not he suffered enough? 

The first time he woke up, Jensen knew he was alone. He was lying in a puddle of his own piss, shit, and blood. The combined smell made him gag. Gagging, in turn, caused the most intense pain Jensen had ever experienced, to shoot through his body. His last thought before he passed out again had been _'if I vomit, maybe then I'll die'._

The second time he woke up, Jensen knew he wasn't alone. There was far too much noise around him, an almost deafening buzz. He struggled to hear something clear over what sounded like hundreds of overlapping voices. As he passed out afresh, he thought he heard someone sobbing. 

The third time, Jensen woke to someone shining a light into his eyes. His head felt as if it was splitting open. He tried to scream, but that caused pain so severe that he couldn't inhale at all. He tried to turn away from the light, but was stopped by a gentle hand at his chin.

Someone called Jensen's name. The voice was calm but demanded his attention. “Can you hear me?” Jensen shook his head, which he realized was stupid. If he couldn't hear the voice, he wouldn’t have been able to reply. 

Apparently, the speaker noticed Jensen's silent reply, and Jensen felt a hand smooth out the hair on the top of his head. “It'll be okay. You're safe now.” The tone was soft and Jensen wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he'd be okay now, but he just couldn't. He didn't have any faith left to believe in anything anymore.

The final time he woke, Jensen realized that he wouldn't be finding any more solace in the darkness of his mind. There was a constant sound to his left, _beep, beep, beep._ He wanted nothing more than for the annoying sound to stop; it was grating on his nerves, making him want to grind his teeth together. He groaned and tried to turn away from the sound but his limbs felt heavy and stiff, preventing him from making the movements he desired.

“Jen?” It was Chris' voice, speaking softly, worry weighing it down. “Are you awake?” Jensen felt Chris' too warm hand cradle his own, and he squeezed his friend's hand slightly. Of all the things he could handle, hearing the worry in Chris' voice wasn't one of them. After being away from him for so long, he didn't want his friend to be upset, wanted Chris to be happy, but he knew he couldn't fix it this time no matter how much he wanted to. He heard a sob and then felt tears landing heavily on his hand. Jensen forced his eyes open, finding his vision to be blurry – his contacts had been removed – and he blinked as he tried to focus on Chris. He wanted to speak, wanted to call out to Chris, but couldn't find the words. It seemed like a task far too large to attempt, so Jensen simply lifted his head as much as he could, trying to focus on his friend's face.

“I'm so sorry,” Chris said again. Jensen's mind couldn't fathom why his friend was saying he was sorry, and his brows drew together. Jensen's eyes closed as Chris lifted his free hand and ran it over his head. “I'm so sorry.” 

Jensen wanted to ask, “For what?” but he couldn't - the pull of sleep tugging at him was too strong, and he had no desire to fight the calm blackness that awaited him. 

Chris didn't know how long he sat there crying, his heart had broken after he watched his friend pass out yet again. But when he heard the door pop, signaling that someone was entering, he inhaled deeply and looked over his shoulder, watching as Chad entered the room. 

“Hey baby,” Chad said, speaking so softly that only a Were could hear it. Chris grunted, and Chad stepped up to his fiancé, wrapping his arms around Chris' shoulders and pulling him back into Chad's chest. “He wake up?” 

“Yeah, for a few seconds.” 

“Say anything?” 

“No.” Chris sighed and snuggled back against Chad's stomach. 

The blond smiled sadly before asking, “Again?” Chris nodded, and Chad kissed his head, then inhaled deeply before beginning to purr. Chad didn't understand Chris' apparent fixation with this common ability, but he couldn't tell Chris no, especially when the tension was already seeping out of his lover's body with the simple action. He continued to stand behind Chris, his fingers gently caressing Chris' neck, until his legs began to hurt. 

“I'm sorry, baby,” Chris said as he heard Chad shuffling his feet behind him. “Come here and sit.” Chad nodded and circled the chair, settling his weight on Chris' thigh and leaning his side into Chris' chest. A second after he was settled, Chad began purring again. Chris sighed and wrapped his arms around the blond's body, burying his face in Chad's neck. 

“Have the results come back yet?” Chad asked about the blood tests Jensen had undergone to find if he had been attacked by a Were, his voice distorted around the vibration in his chest. 

“No, they said it would take five days.” Chad nodded and then sighed. When Chris spoke again his voice was rough, emotions barely in check. “What if he is infected?” 

Chad tilted his head back to look at his lover. “Then we help him deal with it.” 

“But this isn't like a bite, the things that bastard did to him...” Chris' eyes closed as he mentally replayed those horrible, life-altering moments that Jensen had endured. 

“Shhh,” Chad said, running his hand down Chris' face, palming his stubbled jaw. “We don't know how much he was awake for.” 

Chris nodded. That was the _only_ silver lining he could find in this whole thing. Maybe, just maybe, Jensen had passed out and hadn't been awake for everything that had been done to him. 

“If he is infected, how long will it take to find who did it?” 

Chris shook his head. “I don't know,” he sighed again and rested his head against Chad's. “The whole database thing is so new that there is a 75 percent chance that whoever did it won't be in there yet.” And he knew that the asshole who attacked Jensen wouldn't be stupid enough to add a sample of his were-code after the fact by choice. The chances of them being able to find and catch a Were with a code match to Jensen's attacker were slim to none.Years ago, the Were population had skyrocketed, and the subsequent jockeying for territory created a surge of Were-on-Were violence. State and federal agencies struggled to pin crimes and charges against Weres because a Were attack didn't leave any traceable DNA behind. After years of study, the FWRB (Federal Were-animal Regulation Board) discovered that a Were usually left Were-code behind, which was just as unique as a regular human's DNA. Legislation had passed a year and a half earlier that forced any violent criminal - human or Were - to have a DNA or Were-code sample taken and registered with the Were Commission in Washington, D.C., a recently created national database of all registered Weres. The registration act had helped stop events just like this, attacks on innocent humans, by being able to find the Weres responsible for the crimes that once would have been left unsolved. Chris knew that the program was just getting started. He sent a prayer heavenward, asking for a match to ping, as well as guidance on how to help his best friend through this trauma.

“It'll be alright,” Chad whispered, wanting to allay his lover's well-grounded fears about Jensen's well-being. He wished he could help more, but for the moment he simply curled up tighter against Chris, offering the comfort of his body.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minutes turned into hours, and hours into days, and still Chris stayed by Jensen's side. Jensen slept on silently, his consciousness held at bay by the medicine the doctors were pumping into his body. Chris hated to see his friend like this, but knew that the other option was worse. The doctors didn't want Jensen to shift during the full moon, if he had in fact been infected. Since the blood test had not returned yet, they put Jensen into a medically induced coma to keep his already damaged body from the dangerous first shift. 

On the fifth day of Jensen's hospital stay, Chris looked up as the door opened. The ER doctor, Dr. Cohen, stepped into the room. 

“Mr. Kane,” he said, with a nod to Chris before looking down at the still slumbering patient. He sighed heavily, then turned to look at Chris. “Jensen's test results are in.” 

At this announcement, Chris sat up straighter. “And?” He didn't know how Jensen would feel about becoming a Were, if that was what came to pass. They had never talked about it in all the years that they had known each other. Usually, the only time a Were would turn a human was when their human mate was dying. 

“He is infected.” Dr. Cohen said quietly. Chris' shoulders fell, and the tears he thought he had already cried out rushed to the surface again. Dr. Cohen continued, “Have you, in your history with him, ever spoken to Jensen about this? Has he ever talked about it?” 

Chris shook his head, “No, I mean - we’ve all heard stories of Weres turning their sick or injured lovers, but we never... I never thought...” 

“Of course not. No one ever thinks or plans for something like this to happen.” Dr. Cohen's voice was soft, and Chris nodded. 

“Do you know when you might be able to tell what he is?” Chris prayed for either a wolf or a cat. With him and Chad around, Jensen would be protected, but so many different Weres had moved into town since Jensen left all those years before that Chris couldn't be too hopeful. 

“We are running the species test now. We aren't having much luck.” 

“Luck? What do you mean? Isn't it pretty cut and dry to identify the species of Were?” 

Dr. Cohen sighed again and settled himself on the window ledge beside Chris, his arms folded against his chest. “I don't know if you saw Jensen's body after the attack.” 

Chris nodded. “He was naked when I found him.” 

The dark-haired doctor nodded. “Did you notice the small puncture wounds covering his body?” Chris shook his head. There had been too much blood. Dr Cohen sighed heavily. “Jensen was injected with multiple types of were-venom.” 

Chris gasped. Venom was venom. It didn't matter if it came from a snake or a were. Too much would kill a person. “H-how many?” 

“We don't know yet. In the sample in which they discovered the anomaly, there were four.” 

“Oh my god.” Chris lowered his head to his hands and rocked back and forth, his mind running rampant with all the things that could go wrong, all the ways that he could lose his friend. 

“We just don't know how this will affect him.” 

Chris looked at the doctor. “What – why?” 

Dr. Cohen looked at Jensen's unmoving form, then back at Chris. “Normally, when someone is attacked by more than one Were at a time, even if they're the same type, the victim doesn't survive this long. So we don't know what will happen. We don't know how potent the venom that he was injected with was. We don't know if there are others that we haven't picked up on and we aren't even sure exactly what the four we've seen are yet.” 

Chris groaned. “Fuck.” He was lost. He wanted to help Jensen, wanted to be able to tell him it would be okay, but how could he say that, knowing that it might not be true? “What am I supposed to do?” 

Ice-blue eyes stared at Chris as if he could read Chris' mind. “You tell him that he will be fine. You do whatever you have to do to pull him through this. He might not be strong enough alone, but with his friends there is a real chance that he will survive this. He has already made it five days longer than anyone I've ever seen. His heart is strong, his bp is excellent as long as his pain is managed well. The monitors show brain activity, he's sleeping but, you know, it's only because of the medication. He _will_ survive this.” 

Chris wasn't sure if Dr. Cohen really believed that or not, but he couldn't help believing it himself. Chris nodded. “Yeah, he will.” 

Dr. Cohen nodded and stood. “Now, since he is out of ICU, I am going to turn his case over to an associate of mine. Dr. P will take over Jensen's care from now on. He has been briefed on everything that has happened, has been made aware of all of Jensen's tests, and is familiar with Jensen's relationship to everyone on the security checklist.” Chris nodded. 

As soon as Jensen had been moved into a private room, Chris asked a few of his friends from work to come and stand guard over Jensen. He was paying the few who needed the money out of his own pocket, and had made a detailed, very strict security list. Those people on the list, and _only_ those people, were allowed to enter Jensen's room. 

“Dr. P should be coming by here in a few hours. He had some office hours he had to attend to before he makes his rounds. His full name is Dr. Jared Padalecki.” Chris nodded again, saying the name over and over in his head so he could remember it. “I promise you, he is in great hands.” 

“Thank you.” Chris held his hand out and Dr. Cohen shook it firmly.

“Don't thank me. I'm just doing my job.” Dr. Cohen nodded and turned to leave the room. 

Chris turned back to his friend. “Damn it, Jen.” He took his friend's hand in his and squeezed it gently. “I'm not losing you now.” 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

Chris looked up as he heard the door open. He smiled as Chad and Misha made their way into the room. 

“Hey, baby,” Chad said as he bent to kiss Chris. 

“Hey.” He nodded to Misha then looked up at Chad. “You okay?” 

“Yeah. You look like shit, baby.” Chad ran his thumbs underneath Chris' eyes, the dark circles making him look older than his 34 years. “He wake up at all?” 

Chris shook his head. “Not today.” Chad sighed and pulled the tie out of Chris' hair before running his fingers through the chestnut waves. Chris sighed heavily, leaning his head back against Chad, and Chad didn't ask before he started purring. 

“What are the doctors saying?” Misha asked a few minutes later. He had moved to California during Chad's junior year, and even though Misha wasn't attending college, he and Chad had become fast friends after meeting at the coffee shop where Misha worked. Chad met Chris and Jensen at college while taking a senior-level science class. After that, wherever Chris was, Chad was close by. When Chris and Jensen moved back to Texas, Chad and Misha had followed them a few months later. Chad came because he couldn't stand to be away from Chris, Misha because he really didn't have anything else better to do. 

Chris sighed heavily and reached behind him, guiding Chad around to sit in his lap. Once Chad was settled like he wanted him, Chris looked at his friend lying still in the bed. “The fucker who attacked him injected him with at least four different types of were-venom.” He felt Chad's gasp and heard Misha's gasp. “They don't know if there are possibly even more present, and they don't know what's going to happen when the moon rises once he's out of the induced coma.” 

“Holy shit,” Chad whispered, looking at Jensen. “So what happens if he's two different types? Like a wolf AND a cat?” 

“I don't know.” Chris didn't want to think that far in advance. They still had over three weeks until the next full moon. 

The friends sat there silently for the longest time, Chad running his fingers through Chris' hair, purring, his unfocused eyes staring at the wall in a daze. Chris held onto Chad as he watched his best friend’s chest rise and fall with each breath, Chad’s weight on his thighs comforting him. 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

Misha watched them all, trying to take in the fact that Jensen's world – a world that had already been ripped apart once – was about to be shattered again. He honestly didn't know if Jensen could survive something else so cataclysmic. Sure, Jensen was alive, but no one knew until he woke up for good if he would still be Jensen. They didn't know when Jensen looked at them next, if they would see those lively green eyes or just a dead, jaded(?) stare. Misha prayed that it would be that same sparkling green gaze that he had known before the cruel world blew Jensen's life apart. 

Misha could still remember the night that Jensen had gotten the phone call. They had all been out at the bar. It was a regular thing back then, Chris would call on Thursday morning with some fucked up holiday (Misha's personal favorite had been Road Kill Remembrance Day) and they would go to the bar to “celebrate” said holiday on Friday night. Well, that Friday night had been no different, it was Pie – or Pi - Day (which Misha learned was actually a holiday, so he had decided to buy two rounds for them all instead of his regular one). They had been on the fast track to getting drunk, drinking only fruity liquors because it was part of the whole pie thing, when Jensen had answered his phone. He had gone ghostly pale, the shot glass he held in his hand shattering as it hit the floor, and everyone's attention had turned to him. 

By the time they got to the hospital - the cab ride seemed to have taken forever - Jensen's parents were already gone. The police told Jensen that his mother and father had been T-boned by an eighteen-wheeler. They promised Jensen that his parents hadn't suffered, but when Misha watched Jensen pick up his mother's lifeless but still warm hand, he saw the blood-filled, half-moon crescents in her palm. Misha knew that she had indeed felt it, that she had fought to stay alive. 

Misha could still see Jensen as he fell apart, sobbing as he lay across his mother's body. He could still hear the whispered, “why?” that had fallen from his broken friend's lips. Misha hadn't wanted to take Jensen to see his father, but he knew Jensen would fight if he was forced to leave before seeing him. His father's state was worse, his body bloody and bruised, the entire left side of his face and neck cut and torn from the glass shattering right next to his face. Jensen had nearly collapsed when he saw his dad, and if it hadn't been for Chris and Chad, he would have never stayed standing. “Daddy,” Jensen had whispered. The pain in Jensen's voice still ate at Misha's heart when he thought about it. 

The days following the deaths had been a nightmarish blur. Everyone came together: Tom and Mike flew in from LA, Jensen's Uncle Jim and Aunt Ellen came in from California, and he, Chris and Chad had not left Jensen’s side. At the time, it hadn't registered with Misha that Jensen's fiance, Mark, hadn't been around much. When it did hit him, he just assumed that it was because Misha wasn't _always_ at Jensen's apartment. Little did he know just how wrong he had been. 

Immediately after his parents' funeral, Jensen had flown to California. There had been no mention of the move, and Chris had spent hours on the phone with Jensen trying to understand why his best friend would leave so abruptly like that, taking only what he carried on the plane, without at least telling Chris he was going. Finally, after what could only be described as an emotional breakdown, Jensen admitted what happened. He had gone to Mark's after the last of the relatives had left his parents' home, and there he'd found Mark in bed with a woman. Misha had no doubt then, or now, that it was more than Jensen could handle. Misha doubted that he could have handled losing his family _and_ his fiance in a four-day span. 

Misha was pulled from his thoughts by the door opening. Everyone turned to look as a tall - a very tall - man stepped into the room. Misha turned to look at Chris and Chad, and Chad got up from Chris' lap. 

“Mr. Kane?” The very tall man asked.

Chris nodded, standing and taking the man's huge hand. “Chris, please.” 

“Okay, Chris. I'm Jared - Dr. Padalecki – and I'm going to be Mr. Ackles' doctor now.” 

“Jensen,” Chad said softly, then lowered his eyes to the man in question. 

“Pardon?” Jared asked, looking at the slender, blond man. 

Chris reached over and squeezed the back of his partner's neck lovingly. Chad knew how much Jensen hated to be called Mr. Ackles because it made him think of his father. Chris pulled Chad to his side, holding him as Chad rested his head against Chris' temple, as Chris explained, “He prefers to be called Jensen. Mr. Ackles was his father.” 

“Ah, very well then. Jensen.” Jared looked down at the patient on the bed. Jensen looked as if he had been at death’s door, and Jared knew he really had been. He inhaled and exhaled before turning to look at Chris. “We have a lot of information to go over.” He looked at each of the men in the room. “I would like to get started as soon as possible. Is now a good time?” 

Chad and Misha both looked at Chris, who nodded. “Do you want to talk here?” He hadn't left Jensen's side since it had all happened, and he was loath to do so, but he also didn't want to upset Jensen if he awoke during the discussion. 

Jared shook his head. “No, I would rather talk somewhere else. Perhaps some coffee in waiting room down the hall?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trio followed Jared down the hallway to a small alcove that held a coffee maker and three rickety tables. “Sit, please,” Jared said, as he moved to the coffee machine. He had to gather his thoughts, to plan out what he was going to say so that everyone would understand the battle that Jensen had before him. 

Chris, Chad, and Misha sat down, and Jared watched as the blonde moved his chair as close to Chris as he could. Chris smiled, pressing a kiss to Chad's temple. “It'll be okay,” Chris whispered into the blonde's hair. Chad nodded and purred for a quick moment. 

Jared returned to the table with a small tray bearing four cups of coffee and two small containers of sugar and cream. He took in the interaction between Chris and his lover, and smiled. 

“So, I am assuming that you two are Weres?” He already knew it to be the truth - he could smell the spicy, earthy scent so common of Weres on both of them. Jared turned to look at the dark-haired man to his left. “But you are not?” 

The dark-haired man shook his head. “No.” He held out his hand. “Misha Collins, human.” 

Jared took his hand and shook it, saying Misha's name in his head so he would remember it later. He turned to look at the pair across from him. “Chris and...?” 

“Chad,” Chris replied before the blonde could speak up. 

“Chad. Okay. Well, I know it's rather uncouth to ask, but what type of Were are you?” He was betting that Chris and Chad weren't the same. Chad seemed more touchy, needing his lover close, so Jared was thinking a werecat of some sort. Chris had a strength about him, a rough air that lingered just beneath the surface, and that made Jared think wolf. 

“Panther,” Chad said, not moving his head from its spot resting on Chris' shoulder. 

“Wolf,” Chris answered, his lips brushing against the crown of Chad's head as he spoke. 

Jared nodded. At least Jensen would have the help of his friends; he had seen many others who hadn't been so lucky. “Okay, as much as I hate to do this, I need you all to understand exactly what we are looking at for Jensen's recovery.” When all three men nodded, he continued, “First off, I am aware that Matt - Dr. Cohen - has informed you that Jensen has at least four different types of were-venom in his system.” He paused again. “As of this time, that is the only thing that continues to threaten his well-being. His other injuries, while horrendous, are no longer considered life-threatening.” 

Chris licked his lips, and cleared his throat softly, his hand tightening on Chad's shoulder. “What _are_ all his injuries? They touched on a few in the emergency room, but I know it wasn't a complete list.” Chris wasn't completely sure he wanted to know, but he knew he had to hear it. 

Jared opened the thick file he had brought with him and flipped through several pages before clearing his throat. He read over the injuries to himself: five fractured ribs, a punctured lung. Lacerations on the inside of each thigh; one requiring fifteen stitches, the other twenty-one. Fifteen needle-injection sites all over his body. A bruised larynx, bruised kidneys, and superficial abrasions over his entire body. The ruptured colon that had to be surgically repaired - that one made Jared's gut twist. The amount of torture that Jensen's injuries reflected made Jared's skin crawl, and his heart ached for the man in the bed down the hall.

Jared looked up at Chris, doubting his patient's friend really wanted to know the worst of the awful details. “I am not allowed to disclose all that information at this time. When Jensen wakes, he can either tell you or, if he gives me permission to, then I will.” 

Chad looked up at Chris, his eyes full of concern, and Chris finally nodded. “Okay” 

When Jared spoke again, his voice betrayed the emotions he was barely keeping at bay. “He... he is so strong. I've never seen anyone survive something like this.” 

Jared folded his hands on his lap, letting the trio gather their wits. He couldn't imagine having something like this happen to a friend. 

Finally, when it seemed that everyone's emotions were controlled once again, Jared cleared his throat. “While his injuries will heal, there is one more crucial turning point that he has to survive through. Jensen has to survive his first shift. As you know, he was placed in a medically-induced coma that kept him from shifting at the last full moon. We weren't sure if he had been infected then, but we knew that his body wouldn't be able to handle the change if he had been.” Chris nodded and Jared continued, “He could, between now and the next full moon, have a reaction to the venom and suffer a life-ending allergic reaction. Now this is becoming unlikely, as he's gone this long without suffering anaphylactic shock, but it is something that we still have to watch out for.” 

Jared licked his lips and looked up at everyone before continuing, “With the introduction of the different types of venom into his system, his body could attempt transforming into each type of were simultaneously, and physically he wouldn't be able to handle it. He would not survive.”

Chris asked, “Do we know what types of venom he has in him yet?” 

Jared nodded. “Well, three out of the four. Two of them are the most common, cougar and wolf, which is a good thing. We have procedures in place to help with those changes. The other one that we have identified is snake. It's not as common, as you may already know. There are many people that are snake weres out there. The last venom is a form that we are not aware of, and it doesn't match anything in the database. Now that is not necessarily a bad thing. It might not be were-venom at all - it could be something to help keep Jensen's body from overloading when the time to shift comes. There have been tests done, illegal ones in Japan but tests nonetheless, that have shown that a were infected with a different venom could be trained to control the shift into the desired form. Now, that being said, there is no guarantee. The venom, having no known code, does give us some hope that Jensen will in fact survive his first shift.”

“There are other scenarios, and I hate to make it sound so bad, but I don't believe in sugar-coating things. I believe that if you know everything that _can_ happen, you are more prepared to deal with what _does_ happen.” He smiled softly as everyone nodded, continuing, “When the full moon rises, he could change into a mix of each of the weres, which at first thought seems like no one could survive that, but there have in fact been cases of polyweres. It's usually caused by a birth defect and not an attack, but these polyweres do survive. Another possibility is that he could turn into something that his body couldn't support and he would die. On a better note, each of the types of venom could cancel each other out and he might not change at all. It's not a likely possibility, but it is one nonetheless. Jensen could, as in the case of the polywere, call upon each were in his body separately and learn to channel which form he wanted.” Jared took a deep breath as he finished looking at each of the men. “As of now, that is where we are. I'm sure that you are aware that, as time goes on, one of the venoms might become stronger and start to cancel out another, or they could all grow.” 

Jared knew that he had put a lot of information out there for them, and he knew that sometimes the best thing to do was just let the victim’s family deal with the information in their own way, at their own pace. With a deep breath, he forced himself to pull back. He smiled again before saying: “Now, I know that this is a lot of information for you to take in, so I'm going to go and see how Jensen is doing and check on his latest test results.” 

He smiled and dug out a business card. “If you need anything, any time – day or night – just call me at this number.” He passed the card to Chris and pushed up from the table. He hated having to walk away from his patient's family and friends, not staying there to help. He wished that he assist Jensen's friends more in dealing with the information. 

Instead, Jared turned back and smiled at everyone once more before stepping out of the small room and heading back to his office.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Misha followed Chris and Chad back to Jensen's room after Dr. P left, and then headed home. He had work in the morning at the Richardson Star, a local newspaper, and his boss was already riding his ass regarding writing the article about the attack on Jensen. Misha didn't want to write about what happened to Jensen, but he really didn't want to look for a different job either, so he was trying to kiss ass the best he could without caving to his boss' demands of an inside story. 

The next day at work, Misha tried to push away a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He didn't want to think about what Jensen had been through anymore, which is what he assumed the feeling was about. It was well after four, just thirty minutes before he would head home, when he realized that the nagging feeling wasn't about Jensen at all. Misha's brow furrowed as he typed Jared's name into the newspaper's database. Within seconds, he was staring at hundreds of articles. Blinking back his shock, Misha clicked on the first one and suddenly he remembered everything he had heard about Jared Padalecki a.k.a. The Were Whisperer. 

An hour later, he had a stack of articles printed out and his mind was overflowing with information. Misha logged out of his computer and headed out, making his way to the hospital straight from work. 

He pushed into Jensen's hospital room a little while later, smiling at Chris as Chris looked up at him over a sleeping Chad's head.

“Hey,” Misha whispered. 

“Hey,” Chris replied, yawning.

Misha chuckled and settled down in the chair beside Chris. “Jensen been awake today?” 

“No, he opened his eyes for a few seconds a couple of times, but nothing major.” Misha nodded; this had happened before. 

“I have some information.” Chris' brows rose and Misha pulled out his printouts. “There was something about Dr. P that kept sticking with me, and today before I got off work, I looked him up in the newspaper database. There's a lot of information about him out there.” 

Chris nodded, palming the back of Chad's head as he snuffled in his sleep. “Good info, I hope?” 

“Well, mostly.” Misha pulled out the first article. “Most of the articles discuss his methods. They are... unusual, that’s for sure. But there is a reason why he has been nicknamed The Were Whisperer.” 

Chris was barely able to hold back his laughter. “The _Were Whisperer_? I hope you're kidding.” 

“No. He is known for his workrc with violent weres as well as humans who have been attacked and turned.” Misha flipped through his papers, pulling out another article. _“This one says, 'Padalecki's work with Sandra McCoy after her brutal attack in December is nothing short of a miracle, according to McCoy's sister, the lone non-infected surviving member of the McCoy family. Sandy was nearly catatonic after the attack,” Sarah McCoy tells the Times, “but Dr. P came in and worked with her every day, and slowly I saw Sandy coming back. Now she's back in school, and I can see the light is returned to her eyes.''”_

“Sandy McCoy, why does that name sound familiar?” Chris asked as Misha stopped reading. 

“She was the woman who was all over the news about two years ago. She had dated a guy at school, and when she found out he was a were, she broke it off and he snapped. He followed her home, killed her parents, and left her and her twin sister to die. They still aren't sure how Sarah didn't get infected. She was nearly gutted.” 

Chris sighed and nodded. “Yeah I remember. How could I ever forget that? That was before I became a guard at Juvie. God, I didn't know if we would ever find the bastard who did it.” 

Misha nodded. He could remember that time as well. He wasn't a were, but he knew just how bad the news coverage had been after that attack, how much the general public looked down at the weres, especially after something as horrific – and disturbing – as that had happened. 

“So what's the bad stuff?” Chris said, pointing to the file in Misha's lap. 

“Well, most of his critics find fault with his techniques. Like I said, they are unconventional. I think it's a case of fearing the unknown.” 

Chris nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I don't have a problem with it. I mean sometimes it's the oddities that make things work.” He inhaled and exhaled, pressed a kiss to Chad's temple before continuing. ”I can't say that I'll agree to everything he does, but I'll try not to punch him in the face at every turn.” 

Misha smiled then turned his attention to Chad as Chad sleepily muttered, “Don't promise anything you know you can't keep.” 

Chris chuckled and squeezed Chad to his chest. “Smart ass.” He rubbed up and down the blond were's back before looking down at him. “How you feeling? More rested?” 

Chad nodded and yawned, “Yeah. Didn't sleep at all last night.” 

“I'm sorry, baby,” Chris said, and Misha couldn't help the soft smile that spread across his face. He knew that Chad had trouble sleeping without Chris. He'd known that back when they were all housemates in California, and he could just imagine how dependent on Chris' presence Chad was now, after living together for over ten years. Misha watched as Chris pulled Chad back against his chest and began rocking him back and forth while he sung softly in Chad's ear. Chad was asleep again within minutes. 

Misha stayed until visiting hours were over, walking with Chad out to the parking lot. He watched his friend - Misha could see the dark circles under Chad's eyes, his skin looked two sizes too thin - and his concern for Chad's well-being forced his words. 

“Do you think you could apply for some time off? I'm sure the school would give you a week off.” 

Chad shook his head. “I'll be okay.” 

“No, Chad.” Misha paused and sighed. “You aren't. Man, I hate to see you like this, and I'm sure it's killing Chris too.” He reached out and touched Chad's arm, forcing the blond to look at him. “Just a few days?” 

Chad rolled his bottom lip between his teeth and exhaled loudly through his nose. He looked over his shoulder at the hospital as though checking to see if anyone was following them.

“I'm scared to take off now.” When Chad paused, Misha nodded, prompting Chad to continue. “If something happens to Jensen...” Chad lowered his head, but Misha could see the trembling bottom lip of his friend. “I have to be able to be there for him. I have to wait to see if Chris needs me before I can take off from work.” 

The thought had never crossed Misha's mind, and it bothered him that it hadn't. “I – I didn't even think.” Chris would need Chad so much if something happened to Jensen. Misha couldn't begin to imagine the torture Chris would put himself through if Jensen succumbed to his injuries. “Oh god,” Misha whispered as the full realization settled on him. 

“Exactly. I hate this. I can't stand being at home without him. I want to beg him to come home, but I know I can't. I couldn't leave if I was in his shoes. And... I'm so scared what will happen if Jensen doesn't make it.” Chad looked up at Misha and the pain and fear in his blue eyes was tangible. “I can't lose him, Mish.” 

“Chad! No!” He wrapped his friend in his arms and held him tightly, frightened that his embrace was the only thing holding the blond together. “Jensen is going to be fine. I promise. Chris isn't going to leave you. It's not your fault, Chad. Chris doesn't think that. That boy loves you more than you can imagine. It's clear in his every action in his every move. I promise.” 

Chad nodded, his hands fisting in the back of Misha's oxford. “I hope you're right.” 

Misha nodded and prayed that he would be. 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

Chris slept on and off for hours after Chad left. Chris knew Chad had a problem sleeping without him but Chris wouldn't let Chad know that he was having the same issue. Chris knew that Chad understood how Chris felt - that he needed to be with Jensen, being that he was the only 'family' Jensen had left. He blinked in the twilight glow of the room and jumped as his eyes landed on the clear, open green eyes staring back at him. 

“Holy shit! Jen?” He asked flipping on the overhead light as he moved closer to Jensen. He looked at the clock on the wall, then back at his friend. 

It was a little after four a.m.. “Dude, how long have you been awake?” 

Jensen shrugged but didn't speak. 

“You okay? Need pain medicine? Are you hungry? Thirsty?” 

Jensen shook his head three times, but still didn't speak.

“Dude? Do you know who I am?” Chris couldn't help but laugh at the look that Jensen gave him - the _'God you are stupid''_ comment was as clear as day. “Okay, okay. Sorry. I just had to make sure.” 

Jensen nodded once and looked up at the light, then back at Chris. 

“Sorry.” He flipped the light off and Jensen nodded. He sat when Jensen looked at his now empty chair. Chris was at a loss for words. He struggled with what to say or ask Jensen, but in the end Jensen took the burden out of his hands by picking up the remote and turning on the TV. 

After a few seconds, Chris realized that Jensen was nowhere near ready to fall back asleep as he had over the last weeks. 

“I'm gonna go and tell the nurse that you're awake.” Jensen nodded once, his eyes never leaving the constantly flipping channels. Something unpleasant unfurled in Chris’ stomach, making his chest tight, and he pushed up out of the chair. 

At the nurse’s station, he waited until Katie came back. Katie had been Jensen's nurse at the very beginning, and after a few weeks of rotations, was now in charge of Jensen's care again. 

“Hey, Genevieve said you wanted to talk to me?” Katie's blue eyes were bright with concern. 

“Yeah, Jen's awake.” A smile started to spread on Katie's face, but Chris shook his head. “He's not talking.” 

Her brows drew together. “What do you mean? He's not able to talk or he's not willing?” 

Chris shook his head. “I don't know. He knows who I am, he indicated that clearly, but he hasn't uttered a word since he woke.” 

“Okay. Let me call the doctor and let him know he's awake, then I'll be right in.” Chris nodded and turned to head back to Jensen’s room. 

A little while later Katie came in, a smile spread across her face, but Chris could tell that it was forced. Thankfully Jensen wouldn't know. 

“Hi, Jensen.” Katie's voice was kind but firm. “I'm Katie. I am so happy to see you awake.” 

Jensen turned his attention to the her and nodded once, his eyes never leaving the nurse’s face. 

“How are you feeling?” She paused and Chris could tell that she was waiting for a verbal answer.

She was disappointed when Jensen shrugged and smiled, a clear _'I'm okay.'_

She nodded slowly. “Does your throat hurt?” 

Jensen shook his head and swallowed as if to prove it.

“May I ask why you aren't speaking?” 

Chris and Katie both were shocked when Jensen turned his head away, and no matter what Katie or Chris said or asked, Jensen would not turn his attention away from his renewed channel flipping. 

With a sigh, Katie left the room, only to return a few minutes later. “Chris, can I speak with you outside?” 

Chris nodded and glanced at Jensen before standing. He pulled the door closed before following Katie down the hallway, making sure they were out of earshot of Jensen. 

“Dr. P is coming in to check out Jensen. He said that this is fairly common, and that it can be either a good sign or a bad sign. He said he wanted me to speak with you because he will need to be alone with Jensen when he gets here to determine which way it is for Jensen.”

Chris started shaking his head until he remembered what Misha had told him only a few hours earlier. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply and, after inhaling and exhaling two more times, he looked up at Katie. “Be honest with me. Is Padalecki as good as they say he is?” 

Katie nodded slowly. “Yeah, he is. He's weird., I'm not gonna lie. I've seen him do things that I never thought were possible, but he is as good as the press says he is.” 

Chris nodded and sighed heavily. “Fine. Okay. Can I at least introduce them before I leave?” 

“Of course. He's not running you out. He just wants some time alone with Jen.” Katie placed a hand to his forearm, hoping to comfort him. 

Chris rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Alright. I'm gonna head back in to him. I'll tell him Padalecki is coming, then it won't be such a shock to him.” Katie nodded reassuringly and walked with him back to the door before she continued on to the nurse’s station around the corner. 

Chris returned to his seat in Jensen’s room, smiling as Jensen looked at him. “So, your doctor is coming in. I think you'll like him. He's cool. He um, he wants to talk to you alone. Are you okay with that? I can stand just outside the room if you want.” 

Jensen seemed to think about it for a few seconds, then nodded and looked pointedly at the door. 

Chris nodded. “Wait outside?” He smiled as Jensen nodded. “Yeah I can do that.” 

Jensen nodded again and turned his attention back to the TV, his stoic expression not changing. Chris watched his friend, wondering what he was thinking. He prayed that it wasn't about that night. 

With a sigh, Chris leaned back in his chair and watched Jensen looking at the flickering screen. 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

Half an hour later, Jensen's door popped open and Jared walked in. Chris stood and moved to Jensen's side as the doctor neared the bed. “Jensen this is Dr. Padalecki- or Dr. P - he's gonna be taking care of you, okay?” Jensen nodded and Chris squeezed his arm. “I'll be right outside.” Jensen nodded again and Chris turned and headed toward the door. 

Jensen's attention moved to the new person. He took in the man, his gaze sliding down Jared's body and back up. Jared took it as it was - not a flirtatious action, but a simple look over. 

“Hello, Jensen. Like Chris said, my name is Dr. P, but you can call me Jared.” He took Chris' abandoned chair and smiled at Jensen. Jared took in Jensen's sharp, green eyes and was pleased to see that they were keen, not dulled by the events in his recent past. “I know you've been through a lot lately, but I'm gonna be here to help you make it through.” 

Jensen nodded once, then arched one brow. Jared grinned and shook his head. “Nope. I don't read faces. You're gonna have to ask me something if you want to know.” 

Jensen huffed and turned back toward the TV, not seeing Jared reach out and press the off button on the remote. He growled as the screen went black. Jared heard the deep rumble in Jensen's chest and waited for the reaction. Jensen's hand flew to his throat, his eyes wide, chest rising and falling quickly as he looked at the doctor. Jared inhaled and nodded slowly. “Yes. You were infected.” 

Jensen gasped and Jared's heart broke as Jensen's eyes filled with tears. “It's okay.” Jared reached out and squeezed the older man's arm. Jensen jerked his arm away from Jared and Jared pulled away from the bed. When he spoke, his voice was soft but neutral. “You have a wonderful support team from Chris, Chad, and Misha. And I'm here and I'll help you as long as you need it okay?” 

Jensen's eyes screwed shut and he sobbed, groaning with each movement that pulled at his still tender ribs. Jensen turned his head away from Jared as he cried. Jared's heart broke for the man but he knew that the sooner Jensen knew what had happened, the better chance he had at overcoming the upcoming challenges he would face. 

When Jensen's sobs had slowed Jared cleared his throat softly to pull Jensen's attention back to him. “I know you have a lot to deal with but I need to know if your not talking is a voluntary thing or if there is something physically wrong.” 

Jensen shook his head and turned his face away from Jared again. 

“Jensen, I have to know. I know that you don't want to, I understand that.” 

Jensen growled again and looked at Jared, anger in his eyes. 

Jared arched his brow. He knew he was prodding Jensen, stirring him up, but this was just one of the small hurdles Jensen needed to overcome. He stared at Jensen. In the grand scheme of things, Jensen's angry glare was one of the calmest thing he had been hit with over the years. “Well?” 

Jensen huffed, his anger faded, and his eyes showed his anger and annoyance. 

“You don't scare me, new were or not. I've taken on six-hundred pound, pissed off grizzly-were. Trust me, you don't scare me.” Jensen's eyes widened and Jared chuckled before nodding. “Yeah, it wasn't pretty.” He clasped his hands together between his knees and exhaled. “So what's it gonna be? You gonna talk or do I have to arrange for some invasive procedure?” He knew without a doubt that he would never do anything of the sort, but Jensen didn't. And Jensen had to speak.

Jensen's shoulders slumped and he shook his head. 

“Jensen, I really don't want to add to your hurt, but I have to know. I need to know how I am going to handle this.” Jared hated goading any of his patients, but he knew that if he didn't push Jensen now, Jensen would never speak again. He had seen it before in patients that other doctors hadn't pushed, and those patients never overcame it. Jared had promised himself that he would never leave a patient like that, especially when it could be fixed. 

Jensen's mouth opened but closed a second later, a loud exhale sounding out of his nose. 

Jared pulled the chair closer to the bed. “Listen to me man, I know it's hard. I know it's scary and I know you feel like it doesn't matter what you say but I need to know okay?” 

Jensen nodded and looked up at Jared, his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth, his eyes closing again. Jared waited patiently, then sighed heavily as Jensen opened his eyes and mouthed, _I can talk._

Jared shook his head and looked at Jensen. “You know that's not good enough.”

Jensen nodded and rolled over showing Jared his back. Jared knew a dismissal when he saw one and left Jensen's room, taking the time to explain to Chris that Jensen knew he had been infected. He promised he'd be back the next morning and left Chris to comfort his friend the best he could.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen returns to Dallas after promising to never step foot in his home town again. His life is forever altered by the man he once loved and he's left barely hanging on to his sanity as the world he knew shatters around him.

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000a556/)

“Why isn't he talking? I need him to talk to me so he can identify his attackers!” Chris hissed as he, Chad and Jared stood outside Jensen's room. 

Jared wrapped his arms around the silver-colored patient chart he was holding in his hands and cradled it to his chest. “Chris I'm sorry. Most attacks on humans by weres are blocked out, not unlike other traumatic events. I know that's not what you want to hear, but for Jensen to remember his attack and have to relive it... it would drive him crazy.” Chris' face paled and Jared wished he could give him some other answer. “As for his speaking, no one really knows why attack victims don't talk when they first wake, but it never fails. Every were attack victim has had something along these lines. They all stop talking. Most, with the right urging, return to speaking as if nothing ever happened. However, if a doctor lets them go without the right encouragement they won't speak again.” 

“So what can we do?“ Chad asked, his soft voice even softer in the echoing hallway. “I mean, there has to be something we can do.”

Jared shook his head. “There really isn't. I've seen patients take months to come around. But rest assured that we are doing the right thing by reinforcing his need to speak.” Jared looked down at the chart in his hands and flipped it open. “Now, it's been three days since he woke up and, while he doesn't have any functional damage to his legs, I would like to start him on some physical therapy. With the sutures in his legs, and the depth of one of cuts I am worried about the healing process.” 

“So we just ignore that my best friend isn't talking?” Chris' voice was sharp and Jared ignored it. He had been questioned by family of patients and he knew that it would continue in the same way for the foreseeable future. 

“No. Chris, I am sorry that I can't do more at the moment but I can't go in there and force him to talk.” When Chris opened his mouth to disagree Jared shook his head sharply. “Think of what he has been through. His power, his choice, his entire life as he knew it was taken away from him. By doing this his way I am giving him back that choice, that power.” 

Chad nodded and looked at Chris. “Just let Dr. P do what he does okay?” 

Chris sighed and Jared could tell the moment that Chris agreed, his shoulders releasing their tension. “Dr. P won't let anything happen to him, baby.” 

Jared turned his attention from the soft, loving words that Chad was speaking against Chris' jaw but he could hear the whimpering growl that Chris returned and Jared felt uncomfortable with hearing the intimate moment between the two of them. 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/bellagattino/pic/0000ph1q/)

Jensen could hear Chris out in the hallway and he wished with every ounce of his being that he couldn't. It was unnerving for him to be able to hear the slightest noise, noises that he knew he shouldn't be able to hear. He hated the idea of being a were, it was something that he had never wanted. Even as he had watched his best friend grow into his preternatural form when they both reached fifteen, Jensen had never envied him. He had never wanted to be more than the mere human that he was and now, here he was, forced into a life that he didn't want. 

He closed his eyes as he thought of all the things that his change would force him to lose. He knew that his job at the school would be gone before he ever stepped foot back in California. He already missed the classroom as if he was a missing limb. 

When he slept, he saw flashes of the night of his attack but never enough for him to latch onto and see who had attacked him. He always felt disoriented and confused, pain and fear swirling inside him. How was he supposed to go on like nothing had happened when he had been hurt like he had been? He knew that Chris thought he didn't know the extent of his injuries but he had heard a nurse, again hearing things he wasn't supposed to be able to hear, talking with a colleague about his injuries. He could feel the bandages on his thighs when he moved, and he wondered how deeply the cuts had been and if the were genes he had been infected with were helping with the healing process at all. 

He looked up as Dr. P entered the room. He sighed as he saw the resolute look on the tall man's face. He watched as he lowered himself down into the chair beside his bed, the one that Chris had been settled in for days on end. 

“Hello Jensen.” Jensen cocked a brow at Jared and nodded once. “So, no words today?” 

Jensen's lips thinned. It wasn't that he didn't want to speak, he did, but he just couldn't. It was almost as if he saw no need to. He knew that was an insipid thought but he couldn't help that it crossed his mind. In reply to the doctor's question he simply stared at him. 

Jared sighed and nodded. “Jensen, I'm going to be frank with you. I have not said anything to your friends about this but I believe you need to know. If you do not speak, I will be required to turn you over to the psychiatric unit. And while I have no misconception that you want to lie in this hospital bed, I can promise you that, compared to Dr. Rochè, my bedside manner is fit for a king.” Jensen swallowed thickly. The mere thought of being locked in a ward with erratic – possibly violent – patients terrified him. Jared seemed to notice the look of fear that Jensen could feel spreading across his face and reached forward to rest his hand on Jensen's forearm. “It's okay, Jensen.” 

Jensen shook his head, fear eating him up inside and he closed his eyes. 

“Shh, it's okay Jensen.” Jared's words were a soothing balm to his frayed nerves and Jensen could feel his panic slowly calming. 

Jensen slowly blinked open his eyes and he looked over at Jared, his eyes pleading. 

“I'm so sorry Jensen. I know it frightens you, hell it frightens me too, but I don't have a choice in the matter. It is hospital policy. If a were victim doesn't speak after seven days, I'm required to turn them over because they are deemed to be unmanageable and dangerous because we aren't sure that they are handling the transition from human to were properly.” 

Jensen shook his head and turned his hand over to clutch at Jared's hand tightly. 

Jared smiled. “It's okay.” Jensen looked down at Jared's hand and Jared tightened his hold of Jensen's hand, hoping to calm Jensen. “All you have to do is talk to me. One sentence. Let me know that you are in control of yourself.” 

Jensen's eyes drifted shut for a moment, his hand never leaving Jared's warm embrace, and he tried to find the will to speak. He couldn't do nothing and put himself in the psych ward without at least trying to talk, but he loathed the idea of having to explain to Chris that he didn't remember what happened. He didn't want to be questioned. He didn't want to remember. 

Jensen finally opened his eyes and looked at Jared, his eyes begging for his reassurance that he wouldn't tell Chris. Jared seemed to understand what he was asking and he softly whispered, “No one else will know. I understand that you aren't ready.” 

Jensen nodded, his heart beginning to race, and he felt inundated with guilt for trusting this unknown man when he didn't want to speak to his best friend. He looked at the door then back at Jared and licked his bottom lip. “I can speak.” His voice was soft, rough with disuse but clear in the quiet room. 


	11. Chapter 11

Jensen ground his teeth together as the physical therapist pushed his leg back against his chest. The burning pain in his thighs brought tears to his eyes and made white lights flash behind his closed eyelids.   
“Breathe, Jensen.” Richard said as he released Jensen's leg. Jensen inhaled slowly and blinked the tears from his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. He often wondered if the short man thrived on the pain he caused his patients. “Three more.”   
Jensen nodded, his teeth clenching again, his fingers wrapping around the edge of the mat he was laying on.   
“Jensen, this would be so much better if you would relax.” Jensen grunted and held his breath as Richard pushed his leg flush against his chest. His ribs still twinged from time to time, but he had learned to hold his breath and it helped. “Damn it, Jensen. Breathe!”   
Jensen's breath rushed out of him and he relaxed again as his leg was placed back against the mat.   
“You are making this so much harder than it has to be!” Jensen could tell that Richard was getting irritated at him, but he couldn't find the emotions to care.   
He felt numb, hollow inside with only pain rushing through him from time to time. Without the pain, Jensen figured he'd feel dead and in the back of his mind, in the darkness that he tried not to nudge too much, he still wished he was.  
“Fine.” Richard held his hand out to Jensen and helped the taller man sit up. “Tomorrow, we are doing more. This is not helping you. At least promise me you'll walk.”   
Jensen nodded once. He was walking, probably more than he should if the truth was told. Late at night he couldn't find the will to sleep, and had slipped out numerous times to wander the hallways between nurse check-ins. He knew he should be careful, but he just didn't have the ability to lay in bed and stare at the four walls.   
“Okay, into the chair.” Richard helped Jensen into the wheelchair and rolled him back to his room. Jensen was pleased to see that Chris was gone, he needed to go home. Jensen could see the strain that staying at the hospital was causing Chris, and he couldn't stand it.

Jensen looked up at the door and watched Jared walk into the room. He smiled at the doctor, unwilling to do more.   
“Good afternoon.” Jared said, as he sat down beside Jensen's bed. “I spoke with Richard.”   
Jensen sighed and turned his head away, looking at Jared out of the corner of his eyes.   
“Yeah, I figured that's what you'd do.” Jared shook his head. “Are you just trying to be that difficult, or is there something else going on?”   
Jensen nodded and palmed his ribs.  
It was clear to Jared what Jensen was saying, but he shook his head. “We are alone. Tell me what's wrong.”   
Jensen growled again, the sound still disturbing him. “My ribs hurt.”   
Jared nodded slowly. “Do you think they are worse than before, or is it just a lingering tenderness?”   
Jensen shook his head and shrugged.   
Jared inhaled, then exhaled slowly. “Do you feel like taking a walk with me?”   
Jensen looked at him and his brows knotted. He nodded slowly and pushed the covers off his legs.   
“How about we get dressed? Chris brought some of your pajama bottoms.”   
Jensen nodded quickly. He would do just about anything to get out of the hospital gown he had been stuck in since he woke.   
“What color do you want?” Jared asked, his back to Jensen, and Jensen's eyes narrowed. He hated it when Jared did shit like this, just to make sure he would have to speak. Jensen had tried to out wait Jared before, waiting for the man to turn so he could mouth what he wanted, but Jared had seen through Jensen and stood stock still until Jensen had finally spoken.   
“Blue?”   
“Good.” Jared turned, the smile on his face bright. Jensen ignored the fluttering in his chest that Jared's smile caused to break free in his chest.   
Jensen took the offered pants, pleased that Chris had brought him his favorite – and softest – pants. As he pulled them up his legs, Jared turned away again and fetched a shirt. By the time Jared moved to the bed, Jensen was ready to stand and he let the doctor hold him steady with his hands on Jensen's sides. “There you go.”   
Jensen nodded and took the shirt from the bed where Jared had placed it, pulling it on over his head. He groaned softly as the movement pulled at his ribs, and Jared's hands moved to his chest.   
“Are you okay?” Jensen nodded and Jared's eyes fell to his chest. “Tell me when it hurts.” Jensen nodded again, and when Jared's gentle fingers pressed against a particularly sensitive spot, he winced and nodded a third time. “I believe that it's just residual tenderness, but just to make sure I'll order an x-ray.”   
Jensen nodded and slipped his feet into the hospital issued slippers.   
“Come on. We are gonna step outside.” Jared led Jensen out of the hospital room and into the hallway. Jensen's movements felt slow and jerky like they always did after a therapy session, but they slowly made their way down the hallway to a double door that Jensen had seen in his nighttime treks.   
“This is the patients' garden. Any time you want to come out here, you can.” Jensen looked up at Jared and nodded. “I would prefer you to let the nurses know before you wander off,” Jensen's gaze when he met Jared was guilty, “but I understand your need to walk.”   
Jensen tilted his head back as they stepped out of the hospital and into the bright Texas sun. He inhaled deeply and relished the warmth he had so missed while he was indoors. For a long minute he didn't hear the traffic just outside the ivy laden walls of the courtyard.   
Jensen followed Jared to the corner where a white wrought iron table sat. “Now, during this time of day it's fairly quiet but I want you to be aware that it can get rather noisy.” Jensen nodded and settled himself slowly into one of the padded chairs.   
They sat there for the longest time not saying anything. Jensen enjoyed the quiet time by inhaling the smells of summer.   
Finally Jared broke the quiet by clearing his throat softly. “Jensen, I want you to know that no matter what you tell me, it stays with me, okay? I promise you that if you tell me something that I need to repeat to Chris, I will tell you that I plan on doing so. I will also not tell him anything you told me until you say it's okay.” Jensen watched the doctor as he spoke, taking in his words. “The reason I brought you out here wasn't to bake you in the Texas heat, but to let you know that you had a place that we could go and you talk to me without anyone knowing.” Jensen nodded once and Jared continued, “I know how you are feeling right now.” Jensen wanted to scoff, he really doubted that anyone knew how he felt at the moment – well, unless you had been attacked, raped, and infected with were-virus. But Jared didn't stop, “I know you feel like what you have to say doesn't matter, that nothing you can say will make a difference.” Jensen stared at him, a little shocked. “I need you to talk to me, and here is one of the places that you don't have to worry about anyone hearing you. If someone comes out that door they can't see us, but we will know the moment the doors open.”   
Jensen didn't know really what to think about what Jared was telling him. It didn't make him have a greater urge to talk, and Jensen wondered if that was Jared's purpose. His curiosity was answered a few moments later when Jared leaned forward.   
“Now, tell me why you are taking the nighttime walks.”   
Jensen looked down at the table, following the cracks in the veneer of the tabletop with his eyes, and shook his head.   
“Jensen, please. I know something is bothering you and I want to help you. I can't help you with these other things if I don't know what you are suffering through.”   
Jared's words calmed Jensen's heart and he sighed again. He lifted his head and looked over Jared's shoulder, unable to meet the man's eyes. “I have nightmares.”   
Jared nodded as if to prod Jensen to continue.   
“I'm happy that Chris is going home, I am. I -” Jensen licked his lips, guilt bubbling up inside him. “I see what this is doing to him, but with him gone its easier... I don't remember the attack but I feel it in the way Chris looks at me. I hate knowing I caused that look on his face.”  
“Oh, Jensen. No.” Jared reached out and placed his hand on Jensen's hand. “You can't look at it like that. Sure he hates to know you were hurt, but this isn't your fault. You didn't ask for this to be done to you.”   
Jensen snorted and looked up at Jared. “Well, that's kinda obvious, isn't it!” Jensen is taken aback by the strength of his words and he looked back down at the table, never seeing the bright smile that spread across Jared's face.   
“That's good, Jensen.” Jared said to the top of Jensen's head. “I'm proud to see you speaking out like that.” Jared smiled as he saw Jensen's eyes lift, and could barely see green between his lashes. “Tell me about these nightmares.”   
Jensen sighed and shook his head. “I don't -”   
Jared waited for Jensen to finish, but when he didn't Jared prodded, “You don't what? You don't remember or you don't want to talk about them?”   
“Both?”   
“Very good.” Jared continued his praise. “Are you having problems falling asleep or staying asleep?”   
“Staying.”   
Jared nodded. “Well I would order you some medication, but not until I know the nature of these dreams. If you can wake yourself up during them, I would rather try and talk to you about them instead of just bulldozing over them, okay?  
Jensen nodded. He was a little frightened at the idea of being unable to pull himself out the dreams, so he looked up at Jared. “Okay.”   
>  
Jensen and Jared sat outside for another hour, Jared asking yes or no questions of Jensen.   
Jared leaned back in his chair and looked across the table. “I am pleased that you are opening up a little, Jensen. As much as I have enjoyed this conver – interrogation, I would really like for you to talk to me next time.”  
As Jared finished speaking, his attention was caught by the sound of a large truck driving up close to the building. Jared assumed that it was the trash collectors, but what he didn't expect was Jensen's reaction to the sound of the men as they worked unloading the bins. Jensen's eyes widened fearfully as one man with a decidedly strong voice yelled something at one of the other workers.   
“Hey!” Jared said, moving toward Jensen. Jared knelt in front of him as Jensen whimpered, and Jared realized Jensen was scared of the unknown men. “No one is going to hurt you.” He wrapped his arms around Jensen and held him to his chest, but when Jensen's shuddering still didn't stop, Jared helped the older man to his feet and guided him back into the hospital.   
Jared pushed Jensen's hospital room's door shut, and when Jensen struggled against him, Jared released him. He watched with a broken heart as Jensen rushed to the far side of the room, fell to the floor and curled up in the corner.   
“Oh, Jensen.” Jared muttered as he slowly crossed the room, going to his knees in front of the still shuddering man. “I am so sorry.” He reached out to touch Jensen, and when the cowering man didn't pull away Jared palmed his shoulder. “Come here.” He pulled Jensen to his chest, holding him in the circle of his arms until the man slowly stopped shaking. “I am so sorry. I didn't know they would be there. God, Jensen, I am so sorry, but I promise you they aren't going to hurt you. They can't get to you. No one will hurt you here.”   
Jared continued to hold Jensen until the man's breathing slowed and Jared realized that his patient had fallen asleep in his arms. He gingerly stood up from the floor and carefully lifted the slumbering man in his arms. He placed him in the bed and pulled the covers over his prone body. “Everything will be okay.” Jared whispered as he tucked the covers around his body. He left a few minutes later, stopping by the nurses station to add a note to Jensen's chart, instructing them to call him if Jensen began walking again tonight.


End file.
